Southern Lit Book Review – The Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy

Why I’m Reading It

My current writing project will have the South as its setting. When I say the South, I mean the Southeastern U.S.

That’s where I’m from.

After trying to write two different projects with an invented setting, I wanted to try writing with a setting that I know.

I got started planning my new story – protagonist, antagonist, a few supporting characters, a story line, a central problem to overcome – all done. Time to write!

But I sat down and no words came. I could see things in my mind, places and events, but didn’t know where to start.

So I turned to my favorite book on creativity, The Creative Habit by Twyla Tharp, and the chapter I read was about scratching for ideas. She recommended reading, and I started thinking.

The lightning bolt struck when I remembered some advice that I’ve heard from different places in life

If you want to draw hands, you don’t study hands. You study how others have drawn hands.

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It was at that moment that I realized I’ve neglected a huge genre – Southern Lit.

Perhaps because I’ve always felt like an outsider in the South — my beliefs are in the minority, I question when I am meant to be “seen and not heard,” and until my 28th year of life, I refused to eat grits.

But I sure do love sweet tea, and being outdoors, and I played softball for a large chunk of my childhood. I also can’t deny my accent, or the assumptions that come with it.

Where to Start

So I asked my community where to start. I asked for my friends’ favorite examples of Southern Lit. I also reached out to my favorite local book store to ask for recommendations.

I quickly learned that I MUST start with Pat Conroy. So I did.

To be honest, I started with Lords of Discipline, and it was too much for my heart. Too heavy for my current state. I’ll return to it if and when I feel ready.

But I finally landed on Prince of Tides (thanks, local library online checkout system!) and BOY, was I blown away!

My Impressions

Prince of Tides tells the story of a family who grew up, poor and isolated, on an island in the low-country of South Carolina. That’s right, folks, even the South is divided into northern and southern chunks.

While I did not grow up in the low-country, I have friends and family who have lived there and I can attest to the special place it leaves in the hearts of those who experience it. Many of my quintessential southern memories were made playing in the back yard of my great-grandfather’s farm in Georgetown, South Carolina, and I can’t help but connect with the message in this book that part of being Southern is enjoying nature. We climbed hay bales, fed cows from our bare hands, avoided goats who enjoyed ramming people, and then sat in the house with the other women while the men went off hunting, or whatever it was they did.

In Prince of Tides, both the mother and father of the family are abusive, physically, mentally, and emotionally. One of the biggest forms of abuse in this story is gas-lighting. If something bad happened, the family protocol was to clean it up and never speak of it again. And if a child asked, they were guilted into silence by their mother. “How could you say such a thing, knowing what it does to me?”

I get this. My husband was raised the same way, but his parents are not southern. They are also not abusive.

I was fortunate enough to have a mother who knew what gas-lighting was and taught her children about it.

But the Wingos of Colleton, S.C. were not taught about it. Luke, the oldest child, was always putting himself between danger and his family, whether it be the fists of his father or the family’s tiger. Savannah, the only daughter of the family, has a history of mental illness she didn’t feel safe to discuss with her siblings until she was 18, because her mother’s response to every incident was “take 2 aspirin and don’t have dessert.” And our protagonist, Tom, is Savannah’s twin. Tom was a quarterback on the high school football team. He had the most growing up to do.

The siblings’ relationships is what made this book magic for me. I was in awe that they spoke to each other the way they did, growing up in a house that so heavily discouraged talking about things that mattered. Through it all, no matter what, all three had each others’ backs. They went on adventures together, some noble, others…not so noble. But when they worked together as a team, they were unstoppable.

And then there’s the humor, the dry, sarcastic humor of the protagonist that helped make the hard parts more tolerable. It also comes up that he uses humor to avoid talking, and it’s something that he works on.

I enjoyed how Conroy played with time in this book. It started with Tom Wingo receiving a call that his sister had attempted suicide (again). And then the book continues to flip back and forth from present, where the Wingo children are grown, and the past, where the Wingo children are simply surviving.

The culmination of the book was a collectively repressed, traumatic adolescent experience that their mother forbade them to ever speak of again, for fear of public ruination.

When Tom visits Savannah, he meets her psychiatrist, who is chock full of Southern stereotypes she expects Tom to fulfill. However, Tom grew up with Savannah, who is a feminist poet, and he is not a stereotypical southern male. Except for the fact that he’s a football coach, and he has an accent.

As a southern feminist myself, I enjoyed seeing Tom defy stereotypes. His wife was a doctor, so he stayed home and cooked for the family. He was the first in the family to go to college, and he was an English major (for which I give partial credit to Savannah). He listened more than he told, and he took his fair share of disrespect before correcting people.

I was delighted by the appearance of magic late in the book, even for the brief time it existed.

Some themes I felt as I read:

• Abusive parents cause so many struggles, one of which is wanting to love your parents even though they hurt you.
• Unconditional love from siblings is a gift that can conquer almost anything.
• Reflection and introspection are necessary tools of growth.
• Talk to children. Let them ask questions and answer them honestly. Lying to them only makes life easier for YOU, and they know when they are being lied to.
• Forgiveness vs. love
• It is equally important to teach boys and girls how to love.

I can’t help but compare notes on my life as a southerner as I read this book. I, too, played outside. I, too, found solace in sports. I, too, became a teacher. I, too, use humor as a coping mechanism. I, too, had a gas-lighting parent, but he was balanced by my compassionate, understanding, open-minded mother. I, too, have forgiven the mistakes of my parents.

I grew up playing in pine trees, discovering new trails, and imagining that the outdoors were a portal to everywhere. A pile of logs became a space ship, a forgotten road sign turned into a fort for giggling. Then I discovered the greatest escape of all – reading.

What I Want to Take Away

There are several things I find admirable about Conroy’s novel, and I want to emulate a few of them in my own writing.

1. Humor. I loved how the protagonist spoke with others. I will be studying this closely.
2. The love-filled way he describes the setting.
3. The sibling relationship of always being there, rescuing each other, loving each other, helping each other.
4. The real-ness of the characters. Yeah, dad was abusive, but he was also abused as a child and never had a good example of fatherly love, himself. He also took them on the river and became a gentle, kind man. Yeah, mom was abusive, but her children were her entire life for the 18 years they were with her. She made clothes and food and celebrations for them. I want to emulate the humanity in this book.
5. An unstoppable team. Man, I enjoyed rooting for the Wingos! So many opportunities for things to go wrong, but when they got away from their parents and set their minds to something, it happened.

Those are my current take-aways. I typically read books digitally or listen to the audiobook versions before I buy a paper copy, and I WILL be buying this one. This is definitely a book I want on my shelf! I’ll be re-reading it for sure.

Y’all be good.