“We have become burned out with all of our excess masculine energy of constantly working, analyzing and overthinking. This is why our bodies have become tense and rigid. Most people don’t take the time to rest and reflect. There is a large disconnection with the divine feminine energy which is playfulness, love, and compassion. We are being called to reconnect with our inner feminine. To stop abandoning her divine love.”
Jake Woodard, @_jakewoodard on Instagram
Masculine and Feminine Energy 101
Let me start by saying I am not an expert. I have simply done a small amount of research, because I was curious, and I thought I’d share it with you.
Before reading ANY MORE, I need you to understand that everyone has both masculine and feminine energy. When I first heard those terms, I thought there were gender connotations, but there are NOT.
Masculine and feminine energy is becoming more and more relevant to my life. I’ve been conditioned to be 95% masculine energy, 5% feminine, but mostly ignore the feminine. This is not based on a test, I’m just eyeballing.
When I stifle my emotions or try to logic them away, that’s masculine energy. When I make a schedule, that’s masculine energy. When I focus on independence and refuse to ask for help, that’s masculine energy.
I grew up in a house dominated by a man with toxic masculinity.
My husband grew up in a house dominated by a woman with sometimes-toxic femininity. He has been conditioned to be 50% feminine, 50% masculine.
When he feels angry without having to talk about it — feels it and releases it, that’s feminine energy. When he gives me space to feel my feelings, that’s feminine energy. When he makes our living space clean and welcoming, that’s feminine energy. When he independently completes project after project, that’s masculine energy. When he is constantly taking action, that’s masculine energy.
Can you see how this might be relevant? What would you say is YOUR masculine/feminine breakdown?
Energies Defined
Before I go any farther, let me tell you what exactly is the difference between feminine and masculine energy with the help of the folks at this site: https://numerologist.com/personal-growth-and-success/what-happened-to-the-divine-feminine-and-how-can-i-reclaim-her/
Feminine energy is…
- love
- softness
- unity
- healing
- intuition and seeing
- inward focus
- family
- understanding
- compassion
- community
- collaboration
- sensuality
- creation
- wisdom
Masculine energy is…
- strength
- action
- power
- rational and logical thought
- strategy
- assertion
- boldness
- courage
- outward motivation
- leadership
- protectiveness
- decisiveness
- independence
- individualism
Hear this: BOTH can be toxic. It is toxic for a woman to be so selfless that, at the end of the day, she is resentful to those she has served because she has nothing left for herself. It is toxic for a man to be obsessed with power and structure.
Here’s my basic understanding. Under the patriarchy, masculine energy was rewarded, and feminine energy was diminished. Hunted down and destroyed, if the Witch Trials are any indicator. There is no doubt that we are still living in a patriarchy. Our society values hard work and independence. Love seems to be valued on an individual level, not a societal one.
The world is in desperate need of more feminine energy. Go back and look at that list — love, unity, healing, compassion, understanding — isn’t that what we’ve all been saying? WHERE IS THE LOVE?
Well, the patriarchy smashed it like a bug. But the good news, thanks to the internet, is that we can learn how to build it back up.
Using Both Energies
We heal ourselves — and the world — by embracing our divine feminine energy. By shifting our focus from “How can I do this most efficiently?” to “How can I do this in a way that feels better?”
We connect to our feminine energy by connecting with our inner child, healing old wounds. We do it by connecting with our bodies, appreciating them, listening to them. We do it by setting boundaries and honoring them. We do it by dancing.
Unapologetically.
Now here’s what it has to do with my writing.
My “instinct” (actually conditioning, but I’m describing what it felt like) told me to make a schedule. Plan my days down to the minute to ensure I could get to everything I needed.
As soon as I made the schedule, I lost interest in writing.
A schedule is logical and decisive. Masculine. What always held me back when I would schedule out my day was the thought, “But what if something better for me comes up? What if I feel trapped by this?”
I’m about to tell you something I still have trouble understanding, and it’s this — You don’t have to have a schedule to get something done. In fact, if you’re anything like me, and you start writing things like this in your planner: 4:30 LEAVE WORK, 5:00 workout, 6:00 dinner, 7-9 write…you’re doomed. Not only are you not going to get those things done, you aren’t going to get anything done. Because you’re buried under the weight of the expectations you had for yourself at some other time.
This schedule allows no room for intuition, for collaboration, for inward focus.
The goal with masculine and feminine energy is to use both.
I’m working with more of a routine than a schedule now. I have certain routines that lump “scheduled” activities together.
One routine is exercise, followed by a post-workout supplement which keeps me full long enough to write without having to worry about dinner yet. Then, when I’m done writing, I can think about whatever feels best to focus on.
Another routine is lighting a candle, playing my “Deep Focus” playlist on Spotify, and journaling about writing before I start to type. When I’m writing fiction, I also spend some time scrolling through Pinterest to get some visuals in my head.
Do I follow this routine exactly, every time? No. I do not. I can sure strive for that, but I’m not there yet!
It is completely normal to swing to extremes when you’re playing with masculine and feminine energy. Especially if you’re prone to relaxing, you might mistake following your energy for… ahem… laziness. It happens.
We need the best of both to be successful. All the love and feelings in the world (feminine) won’t do any good without discipline to develop those strengths and then share them (masculine).
If you want more information on masculine and feminine energy, I’ve been learning a lot from @_jakewoodard on Instagram.
Comment with any thoughts or questions. I’d love to hear from you!
Blessed Be.
The Writing Witch 